Clean Jokes

Good point, I'll delete them.

Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year,

And every year Ken would say,

'Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter'

Edna always replied,

'I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,

And fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

One year Ken and Edna went to the fair,
and Ken said,

'Edna, I'm 75 years old.

If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance'

To this, Edna replied,

"Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!

But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Ken and Edna agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

But still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said,

'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.

I'm impressed!'

Ken replied,


'Well, to tell you the truth,

I almost said something when Edna fell out,

But you know,

"Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.
This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.
This will only become more commonplace as the summer wears on.



A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Costco customers.
This one caught me by surprise.
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.
You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also April 1st & 3rd, twice on the 4th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.


So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.
PS: Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K- Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Costco.

Problem solved. What an elegant solution





Here's a solution to end the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports.

Have a booth that you can step into that will not x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you.

It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this crap about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift. Case Closed!

This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now; you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers, we now have a seat available on flight number..."

Guys listen this :


six men [Dont think wrong only it's anumber] were effect of alchol they intended to steal abank,

two of them were stealing,

two were watching of any one come,

and two are calling the police

Why cant women ski? Because theres no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Video by Goat, Audio recorded in TS3 with the help of Yuri.

Gabriella wrote:

Why cant women ski? Because theres no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.

No no no, it's why Don't women drive? and then that.

Karen: My husband just asked me to make him a sandwich.
He's a sexist pig and I'm looking for good comebacks, does anyone have some?

Annonymous: Yah, you better comeback with a goddamn sandwich.

[EW]Yuri wrote:

Karen: My husband just asked me to make him a sandwich.
He's a sexist pig and I'm looking for good comebacks, does anyone have some?

Annonymous: Yah, you better comeback with a goddamn sandwich.

wish i would study

[EW]Grundy wrote:

PFFFFFTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Studying's for RETARDS!!!
And people that get really good grades!
Errr...wait...

SWG wrote:

Video by Goat, Audio recorded in TS3 with the help of Yuri.

OMFG!!!!! I am literally crying here its so fricking funny omg!!!

[EW]Grundy wrote:

Wow, SWG, where did you put that Lego Star Destroyer of yours