Clean Jokes

Orly?

Cuz I was saying that to people in TS on may 4th.

half of my friends on facebook posted that

Tom_Morello wrote:

half of my friends on facebook posted that

HAHAHHA!!!!
BEST JOKE IN THE ENTIRE FORUM!!!! NICE ONE TOM!!!
FRIENDS!!! LOLOLOL!!

Thanks man! I feel the love! At least I think that's what it is?

[EW]Rambo1942 wrote:

I think we know which little guy was MajorNut... J/K nut, please don't pwn me anymore!

The following is in NO way meant to offend those who gave their lives for our "Great" Country.


It is strickly a joke, so laugh.

Jose and Carlos are both beggars.
They beg in different areas of town.
Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only collects
about eight or nine dollars a day.

Every day, Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills. He
drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has lots of
cash to spend.

"Hey, amigo," Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long and hard as
you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar
bills every day?"

Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"
Carlos' sign reads; I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.

"What's wrong with that?" Carlos asks him.

"No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!"
Carlos says, "Alright, so what does your sign say?"
Jose's sign reads: I only need ten dollars to get back to Mexico

SWG POST SOMETHING BESIDES PORN PLEASE THANK YOU!

Lol, It's not porn, it's funny.

SWG wrote:

Lol, It's not porn, it's funny.

Naw, it was funny for the first 150 of your posts that had things about boobs, now it's just getting kinda creepy... LoL

Haha!

[EW]Yuri wrote:

SWG wrote:

Lol, It's not porn, it's funny.

Naw, it was funny for the first 150 of your posts that had things about boobs, now it's just getting kinda creepy... LoL

150 already? large cement object that blocks water, such as the "Hoover, I better slow down...




Better?

Yep, thanks The SS lets you live another day xD

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me laugh.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint....it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the bullpoop and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

A man goes to his physician and is shocked to find that he has been replaced by a super-computer. The computer asks him his ailments and the man says he has a sore elbow. A drawer pops out and he is asked to urinate in it. After a few bleeps and flashing lights the computer decides he has tennis elbow.

The man is annoyed and decides to get one over on this machine so he asks his wife for a urine sample. He then mixes this with urine from his dog and his small son and to top it off, adds some of his sperm. He takes it to the computer-physician who again asks him for a sample. He places the urine/sperm sample in the drawer and the computer makes its usual display of bleeps and flashes before telling him that his wife is pregnant, his dog has rabies, his son has chicken pox and if he doesn't stop masturbating he'll never get rid of his tennis elbow.

To figure out what to name Canada, the government decided to draw letters out of a hat.
Here's how it went:
First, they picked out C.
The man said, "C- Eh?"
Then,
The man said, "N- Eh?"
Finally,
The man said , "D- Eh?"
However, the man writing it down took "eh" as the letter "a", and it is CANADA!
Lame joke FTW!!


There's a Mexican and a African American in a car. Who's driving?
The cops.

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican?
A bench can support a family.

ON THE OTHER HAND...

http://www.mattl.tk

AND YOU JUST LOST THE GAME
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Blonde: "what does idk mean?" Brunette: " I don't know" Blonde: " OMG nobody knows" ."
(I Saw a Group On facebook of this xD)

Oi don't be offensive to blondes, I know we have our moments...